Wednesday, July 11, 2007

A visit to the Midwest

Ergggg, apologies that I have not been a more consistient poster as of late...but I have been officially "unplugged" for the last few days. I've been back in the Midwest for a few days to visit family and friends and eat carbohydrate-heavy foods while sipping beer- in short, all of the things that I equate with the Midwest in summer time.

A few impressions on the Mighty Midwest from the perspective of a now-West-Coast-dweller...
1) Everything is green. Green, green, green. It's like a leafy chlorypyhll-fillled explosion everywhere I look.
2) Everything is close together. Things I thought of as "far away" no longer really are.
3) Everything is inexpensive. So ridiculously inexpensive as to make me wonder what on earth I am doing paying so much to afford the basics of life.
4) Food here is hearty, delicious, and best accompanied by beer.
5) Just about everyone in the heartland has a Midwestern accent whether or not they think they do.
6) People here are just wider than they are on the coasts. Hearty and corn-fed and the like.

Annoyed with NY (excerpt from NYH blog), by Lauren

2 weeks from today, I go home to Minnesota for the first time since April, which I guess isn't that long, but it has felt long. You can probably tell that I have been much happier in NY since about March or April, and it has begun to feel like home. However, without getting too specific, the events of the last 24 hours have brought back some of my resentful feelings towards NY and the people of NY. I even had someone say that when they think of "nice", they think of "fake". Wow. Thats pretty damn cynical. And sad. People in NY can be nice. And many are. But many also have this shell around them for some sort of protection and it makes them tough and seemingly unfriendly.


Here is a list of some of the things I could do without about the people in NY:


1) I am really sick of girls on the Bronx bus getting upset when I'm standing in front of their seat and my bag brushes them and they proceed to give me attitude about moving it. Get over it. Don't waste your energy getting upset about something I obviously didn't try to do.


2) Along the lines of getting upset for stupid reasons, a woman who works are a receptionist in the Substance Abuse clinic at the VA actually told me I should wear sneakers because my boots "are really loud and you walk really hard". I literally saw that woman twice a week for about 30 minutes at a time. If it really annoys you so much that you need to make a comment about it to me, maybe the issue is w/ you and not with my boots.


3) Im tired of the fact that the almost the only people in NY (I say almost because there have been a few outstanding examples for the contrary) who have customer service skills are people who are either a) getting paid on comission; b) working at a really fancy establishment; or c) a combination of the 2. The people who actually don't fit this category are the fine folks who work at Starbucks. I'm convinced its because they get health benefits for working only part time. But I have rarely met an unfriendly Starbucks employee. Props to them.


4) I'm tired of having to prove my competence to arrogant hotshot doctors (MDs and otherwise.) I mean this within and outside of the work place. For those within, you hired me to help you, now appreciate it! (I am speaking for many a research coordinator/assistant out there when I say this). I don't mean this towards my new boss however as he has been quite gracious towards me for my help. (Also, this may not just be an NY thing...however, as I am ranting, I figured I'd add that in too).


5) Finally, I'm sick of looking at girls, especially in the Bronx who wear clothes that are at least 2 sizes too small for them. Ever heard of a muffin top? Its the chub that hangs over your pants (e.g. love handles and that fun pouch in the front.) Well I've seen some jumbo muffin tops out here and it ain't pretty. And I am not saying this to be derogatory to people who are overweight because God knows I'm not a thin person. However, I wear clothes primarily that fit me and that I can breathe in and that don't give people a sore eye when they look at me. Clothes that fit= a better situation for everyone involved.


Ok...I'm done being bitchy. I'm just a bit of a grump today. Maybe its the heat. As the weather man said its "sticky and soupy" in NY today. How attractive sounding is that? (P.S. That was a shout out to Amelia Bowman).


On a more positive note, I look forward to getting back in touch with my friendly Minnesota roots and seeing some of my wonderful Minnesota friends and my family. I will be in town from July 26th through August 6th so if you're around, let me know if you wanna meet up! I promise to be more pleasant. Thanks again everyone for being so wonderful. I miss you all!

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Do you get it now?

Maybe now people will get it: Taking steroids is not worth your paycheck, fame and status, especially if your story ends like this. And yes, I'm talking to you Barry Bonds!

In other news, I was happy to see that Perez's site was looking as good as new last night! (Or...as good as it used to I should say.) We can turn our frowns upside down and turn our sobs into chortles over embarrassing celebrity moments. Oh, how I love my celebrity gossip.

For a New York update, see this excerpt from my personal blog, New York Happenings entitled "That's Hot...":

And no, I don't mean Paris Hilton getting out of jail. (Though I must say she looked the most attractive I've ever seen her with her natural, make-up free skin.) I mean it being 83 degrees at 9:30 in the morning (though weather.com says it feels like 88 due to humidity). Ick. It is hot. And hot in New York is miserable. It is not refreshing, cool breezed filled hot. It is not warm, soak up the sun hot. It is humid, sticky, thick stinkin hot. Keep in mind for those of us who don't make more than, say $50,000, and probably some of those who do, we can't afford to take cabs everywhere. And that means public transportation. And I promise you, if its 83 degrees outside, its at least 10-15 degrees hotter in the underground subway stations. Some may imagine its cooler down there, out of the sun. But just imagine millions of bodies occupying this space daily (which is open to the street above through vents and stairways, etc). It is like a brick oven. I feel like a frickin deep dish pizza sitting down there in the AM.

And it doesn't help that:
#1 I am a natural sweater.
#2 I am on medication that makes me sweat more
#3 I have to walk at least 5 minutes to get to any subway station
#4 I am a natural sweater who is on medication that makes me sweat and I have to walk at least 5 minutes to get to any subway station.

It is seriously embarrassing. My damn eccrine and apocrine sweat glands (that's a little anatomy and physiology talk for you) are on overload and people often stare at me. Some even ask me if I'm ok. And I look up at them with water pouring out of ever pore in my face and say, "Yes, I'm fine thanks." Damn Minnesota nice. Oh well....my co-workers and I are planning a rain dance later this afternoon and we'll pretty sure it'll work. So we're hoping for some great thunder storms tonight and some breezy 70 degree weather tomorrow. Hope all of you are staying cool. Stay away from New York for a few days. We don't need any more bodies heating this place up!!

Happy Wednesday. 2 days to go!
~LB
p.s. Sidekick came from UPS today. Can't wait to get home and play!

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

SAVE PEREZ part II



Ohhhh, poor Perez Hilton! Just the other day I drove past "the office," aka The Cofee Bean and Tea Leaf in West Hollywood (pic of an interior of a Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf via flickr) and thought to myself, "Oh oh, Poor Perez!" Sadly his new website is not so much the quality of the one offered by his last web host provider...I've found myself turning to jezebel.com (possibly my new favorite site) and www.tmz.com for my daily dose of gossip...

Friday, June 22, 2007

Paris-Hilton-Wanna-Be

AHhhhhhhh hahahahha! I just found this great Newsweek quiz on Paris Hilton. Click on this link to check it out. Oh Newsweek. You're so clever.

Paris Hilton IQ Quiz

In othernews, I want to be just like Paris Hilton (not really) because our IQs are about the same. So I bought a Sidekick. No no. I will not be using a bedazzler on it. In fact, I'll be happy if its just plain white. And I didn't get the hard core
Sidekick III (which comes complete w/ built in phone and MP3 player). I got the Sidekick ID which still gives you internet access, email access, IMing access and unlimited text messages w/ a QWERTY keyboard. Oh, the beauty of it. I can't wait. And for those of you who know I just got a new phone in January, I'm sorry I'm being so excessive. I've just wanted one of these for a while and I finally found the money to switch phone companies (BOO SPRINT!) and buy the frickin phone of my dreams (hopefully). So, look forward to getting a text message from yours truly sometime in the near future.

P.S. My friend AL and I decided that a Sidekick wasn't too juvinile for me because I'm only 23. (Still a baby as she says...she's only 26 but still.) However, when I become a real adult, I have to get the adult version of the side kick:
A blackberry. We'll see.

SAVE PEREZ!!!

Before I get to the meat of this email, let me start off by saying: Oh Mer! How I've missed you! It is wonderful to have you back and I am quite relieved that you made it through your health situation. As my dear friend from work, AB, once said: "When it rains, it pours." That is what happened to our lovely Meredith. And I'm happy she's back!

Now to the juicy part. Here on the east coast, I am quite disturbed about the situation re: PerezHilton.com. In fact, I think its a travesty. For those of you who aren't up to speed on this tragic event, Perez was dropped from his web host because he's being sued for using some copyrighted images on his website. I believe he has about 4 suits against him right now. Check out this article my loving boyfriend send me yesterday. It made me sad. So long story short, he can only post a limited number of articles a day, and his archives are gone, not to mention the quality of his site has vastly decreased. Oh Perez. How sad I am for you!

I know, I know. Perez can be nasty. Perez says some mean things about good people (whether they're celebrities or not) that I dont necessarily agree with. But he also calls some people out when they need a reality check. He also sometimes gives celebrities what they deserve by displaying what they really are. He also is one of the most reliable sources for celebrity gossip and definitly the most entertaining.
TMZ.com is ok, but just does not compare to the personal feel you get from Perez's comments. (I find TMZ even meaner than Perez sometimes). And I don't usually agree when he calls celebrities ugly. In fact, one of the biggest reasons they are celebrities is because they're physically beautiful (I don't speak for all of them here, but many). Take Cameron Diaz for example. For some strange reason, perhaps because he is gay, Perez finds Cameron unattractive. I remember the first time I ever saw Cameron in a movie (The Mask) I thought she was one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen! And I think she still looks amazing. But I'm getting off track. Despite the fact that I don't always agree with the mean things he says (though I do sometimes), Perez needs to come back! He entertains millions of people everyday! And really, when you get into show business in this day in age, you're kind of asking for the sort of attention he gives. Maybe I just rationalizing my extreme love for the site. But please please please.... SAVE PEREZ!!!!

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Hello again from sunny California! I know that our (at this point, probably two or three, and those are probably folks we are related to) faithful readers have missed the Left Coast perspective on the insanity of modern life, so here I am back to supply it. I sort of dropped off the map for a couple of weeks due to a nasty and pernicious combination of unexpected health problems, the final rehearsals for the opera I'm in right now, and my desire to simply curl up on my boyfriend's couch and watch "The West Wing" when confronted with the aforementioned situations.

By the by, happy Summer Solstice, everyone...I would post a link to the Wikipedia article on the summer solstice, except that Blogger doesn't reeaaaally support Safari and, well, I'm one of those diehard Mac users...who also happens to be too lazy to download Firefox. Hopefully tomorrow I'll *actually* get around to doing that, and then this post will be all pretty and linked and the writing will be in blue and all of that good stuff...

To comment on Lauren's "Law and Order"esque experience...first of all, YUCK! Second of all, there's no shortage of casual encounters with law enforcement events in the greater Los Angeles area. As one might guess, here in car culture-obsessed LAlaland, many of these events are related to automobiles. Although I've yet to witness one myself, high-speed car chases are fairly common here and even something of a spectator sport. There was a wonderful article in The New Yorker about two years ago about the high-speed car chase phenomenon. If I can find even part of the article online, I'll link to it. If not, well, you know, um, it's good. I promise. Anyhoosies. An integral part of these high-speed chases is a police helicopter. This past weekend my bf and our good friend MB had a chance to examine one of these police helicopters up close at this street fair dealie thing. The helicopter has a $250,000 infared camera and everything. Glad to see my tax dollars at work :P Ahh yes, so high speed chases. They happen. Seeing cars pulled over on the side of the road and being searched is something I see with great frequency, but I suppose that's sort of everywhere...sadly enough, I see a lot of car accidents involving police, fire, paramedics etc. What else? Hmmm. Well, not that long ago the bf saw a car explode on a freeway offramp. Scary scary! Also, my friend NA's girlfriend works part-time for the FBI. Do I get points for that?

One thing I certainly get points for- and am very pleased to share with y'all- is that Meredith's got a new day job! A very adult and exciting day job, at that. I received a verbal offer on Tuesday and am now waiting to get my official offer in the mail. I don't want to share all of the details before I actually sign the papers, but I will share that it is with a very well respected healthcare non-profit and I'll be working in the development division (for those of you who aren't familiar with this term, it's a really nice way to say "fundraising"). As I understand it, some of the primary responsiblities of the job will include writing grants and schmoozing with donors. Yay! I'm really excited to have a 9-5 job that flexes my mental muscle and also makes me feel all warm and fuzzy at the end of the day. Yay for non profits. And yay for improving my grant-writing skills...it's one of those really great skills to have for anyone in an artistic field, and I'm looking forward to have a chance to hone this useful skill. So huzzah, new job!

Mmmk, there's quite a bit more I'd like to babble on about..but tomorrow is my final dress rehearsal for the opera I'm in, and the show is this weekend...my sister Annie will be visiting and much fun and frolicking will be had. So 10-4, I'm out for tonight...signing off for tonight from the West Coast.