Crazy New York Citings (by Lauren)

Now that we have been properly introduced, let me begin by sharing a few of the crazy things I have witnessed/experienced since moving to New York almost 1 year ago (yes, these are cheaply recycled from my other blog):


July 2006:
- An 80+ year old woman budged in front of me in line at the grocery store to buy menora candles. (For all of you non-jewish people out there, the menora is the candleabra you light during Hanukkah...which is in December. However, apparently this lady was so desperate to get a good deal on them she felt the need to budge in front of me.) When I said excuse me she just smiled and patted her box of candles. I let it slide.
- I witnessed a woman changing her 1 and a half year old kid's diaper in the middle of a department store on a bench. I'm not talking about on the side of the department store, like near the ladies rooms or anything. I'm talking right in the middle of the frickin store! I swear.

August 2006
- As Scott and I were walking to the grocery store, I saw a man carryingwhat looked to be a large rodent in rigor mortis. I moved over, runninginto Scott, who didn't see the animal, and he asked me why I ran into him. He totally didn't believe me until we were leavnig the grocery store andthis crazy crazy man was showing his new rodent friend to another man onthe street. The other guy said "Why didn't you leave that on the street?! It's a dead rodent!" Scott knew then that I wasn't making it up and we got our butts out of there.

October 2006
- Scott and I saw an old lady using her walker on its front when walking back from the grocery store one evening. And no, she didn'tlook comfortable. My first inkling was to stop and help her correct thewalker's position, but having been a 5-month experienced New Yorker, I decided to let it slide while noting to Scott that the lady was using her walker incorrectly. A few minutes later we heard someone screaming behind us "Get off! Get off!" Who was it but this crotchety (and crazy?) old lady trying to fend off a nice young gentlement trying to help herresituate her walker. About a week later, I saw the lady again, walkerincorrectly postured and all, and yelling at someone to "MIND THEIR OWNBUSINESS!" Apparently she's quite sensitive. WHat a nut. (May 07 Note: We later found out that this woman lives in the apartment of Scott's classmate Nick. Small world, no?)
- Was mistaken for Anna Paquin in a bar. First time I've EVER been mistaken for a celebrity. I'll take it!

December 2006
- A week or so after Thanksgiving, when the holiday spirit rightly began to rear it's head in NY, I stood in the subway station, attempting to read before the 1 train came for my morning commute. Across the tracks, on the downtown side, were many people, including parents and their children, probably on their way to day care, school and work. Sitting on the bench sat a man, presumably homeless, reading a newspaper. I was drawn away from my reading when the man announced in a loud voice "Huh, well look at that. I can't believe it. SANTA CLAUS DIED! No Christmas this year!" Oy. Naturally, I rolled my eyes. The ranting of the mentally ill are not unusual in New York, and if you ignore them, they often stop. However, apparently this guy was feeling especially crazy this day as he didn't stop here. "Did you hear that everyone?!?!" He screamed. "Santa Clause died! Ah ha ha ha! No Christmas! He'd dead!" This man continued his ranting and raving about the supposed death of Jolly Old St Nick for a couple of minutes until the downtown sub came. The arrival of the train, however, did not prevent many parents from having to comfort their young children, including the man and his daughter who were sitting on the bench next to the raving man. Even after the dad moved off the bench with his daughter (no older than 4), she continued to stare in frightened disbelief at the claims of this guy. A funny thing about this story, is that down the bench from Mr.I'm-going-to-announce-the-death--of-Santa-Claus-in-front-of-young-children-a-month-before-Christmas, sat an older man, homeless, who I'd seen many times. And while homeless, and quite frankly a bit dirty, there sat a rotund man with long white hair and a white beard, snoozing at the end of the bench. My nick-name for him before this incident was Santa Claus...but apparently not many parents want to point out to their children a possible Santa Claus who lives in the subway station. Typical New York craziness.

January 2007
- Our apartment was invested by baby cockroaches which looked like little ants...except they weren't. Horrible horrible experience. Took us weeks to get rid of them all.

March 2007
- New Yorkers seem to think that the world is the garbage can. People often just throw things on the ground instead of making it over to a garbage can. This month, I actually saw a guy eating candies that were individually wrapped on the subway, and each time the subway stopped and the door opened, he would throw his little wrapper straight out of the door onto the platform. You’re kidding me right?

April 2007
- For those of you who have never ridden on or seen a subway train, you’ll need to know that in between cars there is a space, where people can walk from one car to another. They’re not supposed to do this while the train is moving, but like most inconvenient rules in NY, that rule is broken quite often. So I was sitting in a subway car one day (why do so many strange things happen to me on the subway??) and saw a guy walk through my car and set down a few bags on the seat at the end. He proceeded to walk in between the cars and stop, turn to the side and from what I could tell, he urinated off the side of the train. The awkward thing is that the train stopped part-way through his business so he was sitting there peeing while people were staring straight at him from the platform. He didn’t seem to notice. He came back into the car where his bags were and rode the train as if nothing strange had happened. Eww.


Oh New York fun. This is what I meant when I said NY isn't as glamorous as Sex and the City makes it out to be. At least for those of us who can't afford to take cabs everywhere. By the way, did you notice how Mer and I always seem to write these blogs during work....brilliant. We make such good use of our time.

In other news, stay tuned for a feature we'd like to call "Friday's Hunks" (creatively thought up by my cutie.)

More soon....~LB